Sent Before I Feel Ready

Readings 20526 

I don’t always know if I’m a good deacon.
I don’t always know if I’m a good preacher.
Some days, I’m not even sure I’m doing enough.

 Time feels thin.
The needs feel wide.
And the things I want to give God
don’t always fit into the hours I have.

I hoped to retire sooner—
to pour more of myself into ministry.
But life shifted.
Responsibilities changed.
And now that dream has to wait.

I have responsibilities to my family—
to my parents,
to my wife,
to the people who depend on me.

I have responsibilities to my community—
to those who look for a word,
a blessing,
a steady presence.

And I have responsibilities to God—
the One who called me,
the One who knows my limits,
the One who sees the truth beneath my questions.

Then this scripture is placed in my hands.
And I must pray with it.

“I am going the way of all flesh.
Take courage and be a man.
Keep the mandate of the Lord your God…”

Take courage.
Be faithful.
Walk in His ways.

And then Jesus sends the Twelve—
two by two,
with almost nothing in their hands,
but everything they needed in their hearts.

No food.
No sack.
No money.
Just trust.
Just mission.
Just the authority He gave them.

And they went.
Not because they felt ready,
but because He sent them.

Maybe that’s the word for me today.
Maybe that’s the word for anyone who feels stretched or uncertain.

God does not wait for my retirement.
God does not wait for my perfect schedule.
God does not wait for my confidence.

He sends me now.
As I am.
With what I have.

Take courage.
Follow His ways.
And trust that even in the limits,
God is still doing mighty things.

Prayer

Lord, give me courage for the road before me.
Strengthen my hands for the work You place in them.
Steady my heart when I feel uncertain or unready.
Teach me to walk in Your ways with faith and humility.
Bless my family, my community, and all You entrust to my care.
Send me where You need me, even in my limits.
And let Your grace do what I cannot do alone.
Amen.

Jesus Comes Home to The Heart

 

Readings 020426

I thank God for Jesus’ sacrifice—
for the forgiveness of my sins.
Because there was a time in my life
when sin was a second thought,
a shadow I refused to look at,
a truth I didn’t want to face.

There was an emptiness in me—
a hollow place I kept trying to fill
with anything but God.
The consequences of my choices
never crossed my mind.
I had a list of what I wanted…
and God wasn’t at the top.
Some days, He wasn’t even on the page.

So I pray,
Lord, forgive the wrong I have done.
Forgive the wrong I have chosen.
Forgive the wrong I have loved.

And I hear Him say,
“My sheep hear my voice.
I know them.
They follow me.”
Not because they are perfect—
but because they finally stop running.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus goes home—
to His own people,
His own streets,
His own synagogue.
And instead of welcome,
He meets resistance.
They question His wisdom.
They question His power.
They question His identity.
They take offense at Him—
the very One who came to save them.

And Jesus is amazed
at their lack of faith.

It makes me wonder—
how many times has Jesus come to me,
to my familiar places,
to my comfortable routines,
and I didn’t recognize Him?
How many times did I push Him aside
because He didn’t fit the life
I was trying to build without Him?

Yet still—
He calls.
He knows.
He forgives.
He leads.

And after many years,
with a grateful heart,
I chose to follow.

Prayer

Lord Jesus,
You found me when I was far from You.
You called my name when I was running.
Forgive the wrong I have done
and the wrong I once loved.
Fill the empty places I tried to fill alone.
Open my eyes to recognize You
in the familiar corners of my life.
Strengthen my faith,
that I may follow You with a grateful heart.

Amen